Clofl3
Your mental health comes before school baby, always. If its midnight, and you have an exam the next day but your hands have been shaking for the past hour and a half and you’re not so sure you want to be alive anymore, pull out that carton of Ben and Jerry’s and afterwards, go the fuck to bed. So what if you get a 68% on the exam the next day? You took care of yourself and at the end of the day that will always come before a high test score. To hell with anyone who tells you differently.
Abbie Nielsen, Dear Future Daughter (via octobermoe)

appetisers:

HOW DO PEOPLE FALL ASLEEP SO FAST I DON’T UNDERSTAND I HAVE TO CREATE AND ACT OUT A WHOLE FUCKING MOVIE LENGTH STORY IN MY HEAD AND THEN CONTEMPLATE THE MEANING OF LIFE BEFORE I EVEN FEEL TIRED AND THIS BITCH STARTS SNORING IN TWO MINUTES

musermatt:

superkim111:

no-the-fandoms-protested:

musermatt:

iamthepizzaslut:

YA’LL WANNA SEE WHAT A “REAL FAN” LOOKS LIKE

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CUZ THERE’S ONE STANDING IN THIS ROOM RIGHT NOW

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WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TO DEFINE WHAT A “REAL FAN” IS

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WHAT MAKES ONE FAN MORE “REAL” THAN ANOTHER

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MINE KEEPS ME QUITE COOL IN THE SUMMER MONTHS

Ship them

He keeps her cool.

She blows him away.

Their relationship?

Fan-tastic!

GET OUT

sellingmysoultotyleroakley:

theyoutubefangirl:

True.

This needs to be relevant. Always.

knightscrest:

my greatest dream is to swim in an ocean of orange soda. it is a fanta sea.

unfriendlybambi:

f-emasculata:

REALLY just wanna take this chance to remind the people who follow me to not kill/trap opossums if they’re in your yard, and do not call animal control! Seriously.

  1. Opossums are literally 100% BIOLOGICALLY INCAPABLE of carrying rabies. Their body temperature is too cool to incubate it properly.
  2. Opossums are actually quite gentle and NOCTURNAL, so if they’re roaming, they’ve probably gotten lost, been injured, and are looking for a place to hide.
  3. Young opossums tend to try to climb into garbage cans when they’re starving. This is because THEY ARE LITERALLY STARVING. Don’t fucking shoot them or hit them with things because you wanna be some fucking macho top-of-the-food-chain cocksucker.
  4. Mama possums are amazing mothers and if you encounter an “aggressive” opossum, it’s probably because she’s got babies hanging off her nipple and she’s freaking out. They’re clumsy. Sometimes they don’t hear you coming and  you catch each other off guard.
  5. Wanna lure an opossum off of your property? You can set up a box with some greens and cat kibble in it, hide it well, and lure them out that way. They’re actually quite harmless and keep other predators away. they eat lotsa gross stuff.
  6. Opossum mamas who get hit by cars often still have their helpless babies attached to them. Possums get a bad rep and people say they are “the dumbest animal”, but they are incredible creatures who have been around since the days of fucking dinosaurs so treat them well, okay?

Aww!!!

jachtjacht:

i think i found the only acceptable way to use surprise bitch in 2014

jachtjacht:

i think i found the only acceptable way to use surprise bitch in 2014

nahlou:

i express my emotions in long groans at different octaves 

straaya:

I’m just a needy piece of shit that needs constant reassurance that I’m wanted

etceteraface:

thewaywardqueen:

metaphoricalanchor:

i want to write the kind of short stories you read in english class that are on this weird level of surrealism that they still haunt you years down the road

in year 10 i wrote a story and when i got it back my teacher told me he couldnt sleep properly after reading it

please publish that story

despookinator:

what if u could put ppl on vibrate like phones so instead of talking 2 u they would just shake

plot twist: you are everyone's first choice.
In the delivery room

tokomon:

mother: is it a boy or a girl?

doctor: *puts baby between teeth* it’s a metaphor

a-b-a-d-d-o-n: