*flicks holy water at screen* evil spirits begone, the power of christ compels you
come back evil spirits i didn’t mean it
THIS IS THE POST THAT MADE ME CHOKE ON MY OWN SALIVA.
When you kissed me, all I tasted was cigarettes and self hatred.
Right you little hater cunts, I am who the fuck I am. I am truly sick of you telling me I am fat. Yes, my legs touch but it’s not my fault that my family has ‘bigger’ genes. I am just getting used to liking my body so suck on that.
A comic about my parents. The entirety of their relationship is mutual hatred of the human race.
When people don’t tag their diddly-darn spoilers
Why are cheezits on someone’s head
Because someone didn’t tag their diddly-darn spoilers
Some awesome Harry Potter references.
Harry Potter: The fandom that leaked into all other fandoms.
LET ME TELL YOU A STORY, CUNTFLAPS! WHEN I WAS A LITTLE KID MY YMCA HAD ONE OF THESE FUCKERS. KIDS LITERALLY HAD TO BE TIMED SO THEY DIDN’T TEAR EACHOTHER’S PRE-PUBESCENT DICKS OFF FIGHTING OVER THIS SHIT. FOR FIVE WHOLE MINUTES YOU WERE QUEEN BITCH AND EVERYONE ELSE WERE PLASTIC CHAIRLESS SCUM MOTHERDICKER, IT GOT SO UGLY THAT SOMEONE GOT BANNED FOR FIGHING OVER IT SO THEY SNUCK IN DURING RECESS AND STABBED IT TO DEATH. THEY MASSACRED AN INFLATABLE SEATING OBJECT BECAUSE THEY COULD NO LONGER SIT IN IT FOR FIVE FUCKING MINUTES. SHITS FUCKED UP I’M FUCKED UP
People are asking me if I was the one who stabbed it to death
Keep your snoopin heads out of shit you can’t handle
dont push bitch
can we just acknowledge how smooth that trip was like he must be a professional tripper or something
depression is like trying to peel a potato with another potato its not fun it doesnt work and you just wanna cry
…why is this such a good metaphor what the fuck
i reblogged it before but then it got better
“According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs, and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate beings condemning them to spend their lives in search for their other halves.”
~Plato’s The Symposium.
In a better place